From the keyboard of Kate Wells:

#sendingvictimstextwallsatlatehourscauseyouaretryingtoprocesssomethingemotionallyandGodisall #HeysupgirlIloveyoueventhoughyouarentsureofwhatisgoingon #justholdonkiddo #causethatswhatImadeyoutodo

... You're an expert holder on-ner.

Is that me? I'm just ferociously stuck on Jesus to the point where I refuse to let go out of my own stubborn nature?

I've felt God speak through me before. But, to me? Not as much. The clearest moment I've ever had like that...

In February, I was thinking about doing something pretty stupid. I'll spare you the details. But, the words just popped into my head, "My child, you are stronger than that."

God didn't make me emotionally thick. I'm empathetic to the point that I hurt quite frequently for others. That's not the sort of strength I'm gifted with, being able to bulk my way through things. I'm strong, not like a brick. Not like a rock. But, like a tiger. (And, I'm not a cat person, so bear with me. #animalpunsseewhatIdidthere.) I'm not emotionally impenetrable, but rather, emotionally agile. I will stalk my faith, and watch it, and examine it, and pounce on it. I pursue it. Sometimes, I even hurt it. But, that's okay. Cause God does a rather nice job of fixing it for me.

This is OYAN. We're all mad here, but maybe, just maybe, our madness plays as strengths in different categories.

So, I just wanted to encourage you. Perhaps you don't feel strong enough to handle what you're going through. Because you feel pain. But, maybe, stop and consider the possibility that your feeling of pain, IS your strength. Or that, your strength lies in something you've yet to see. Being strong in faith and emotions doesn't always mean you're unshakable. I mean, if that's you, congratz. But, if it's not, don't despair.

We're different. There are people here on all walks of life, and I know you've gotten the "We love through differences" talk about a gazillion times, so I'll spare you. Bottom line, We are all. Every. Last. One. Of. Us. Running. To. Jesus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRBQtIEEkrU

If you don't go for Christianity, or you feel too far from God, that doesn't necessarily mean you're not included in this race. You have no idea what the future holds. Like, look at Paul.

You're a "darkie" (I hate that label.) You're a "Sheltered homeschooler?" You're both running home to Jesus. You might as well hold hands on the way, because GOD KNOWS (not swearing, stating He actually knows.) the road is long and hard, and we need to support each other as best we can. I think that's why He gave us things like OYAN.

I don't care what your age, sex, location, orientation, beliefs, or preference in literature is. If you're running to Jesus, I will run beside you. I will support you. I will hoist you up by your sore armpits, and drag you down the path if you'd like me to. I'm in this community of Jesus OYANers for keeps. I'm not messing around.

Now for the blunt part:

I understand everyone's taken some refuge in associating with a group within OYAN. "Depressies" with "Depressies." "sheltered" with "sheltered." It's okay to find support within a narrowed down group of people, because OYAN is a big place. I know that's bound to happen, especially with these two groups. And, bad experiences when the two groups have mixed in the past have somewhat encouraged the segregation between them.

I'm not real preachy, so allow me to take the liberty, just this once.
Every time you separate yourselves, in an "Us Vs. Them" mentality, within this group, YOU are giving Satan a foothold to take us down. Simple as that. I don't care who started it. Whatever. Shame on them. That doesn't mean you have to continue it. I'm not blaming one side more than the other. I love both, and I ardently wish for both to stop subtly destroying the other.

Think of it like Legolas and Gimli. They're different; they have fights, yes? They even compete a bit. But, they work together. They use their differences as a spring board for a rather precious and diverse friendship. I've seen occasions of that happen between these two groups. Why is it seen as so hard for the factions as a whole to bridge the gap?

I don't want to hear how society is messed up, and we shouldn't even try. No. Don't give me that. We're better than that. We are SO. SO much better than that, through Christ.

So, you feel misunderstood by someone on the other side of this issue. Welcome to life. Look at Ashlynne Kirkpatrick and David Rollick. They're about as different as it gets. Yet, they manage to be friends, even through the debates and everything. I know they'd do almost anything for each other.

I have seen astounding levels of compassion from the "dark" group. I have seen incredible displays of love from the "sheltered" group. Y'all act surprisingly similar, within your circles, for being so supposedly "different."

This isn't a post on battling self harm, or how we need to reach out to those ignored, this isn't about educating others on our viewpoints, or a spot to vent on how we've been hurt in the past. While all those things are wonderful, and very needed at times, this is a post about forgiveness.

And running. Together.

I'm not trying to guilt trip you. I know not everyone will take the time to read this text wall. But, those who do, thank you.

I'm just saying, Mr. S didn't give up on me all the way back then, when I was "difficult" and annoying and a terrible student. He saw what I hope Jesus sees in me, potential-wise. He looked deeper.

I'm paying it forward. To the S's, and to Jesus.

As a community...We're together, yet split. We've got judgmental people, we've got slackers, we've got those who hurt, and those who hurt for others, we've got plot bunnies, and fluffnarks, and long treks through dangerous mountains. We've got love.

What am I asking for? I'm asking that we get over ourselves, and give the S's a break. Step into someone else's shoes, and stop fueling the division. Don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. I've been judged. On both sides.
I grew up Calvinist, then went to public school and made some really stupid choices. I used to frown down my nose at people, then, later, I scoffed at those frowning. Neither behavior heals. Okay?

I realized at the workshop, that there are people here who respect me, and look up to me. I'm not sure what I did to deserve that, but I appreciate it. And, if you're one of those people. If you consider yourself a friend of mine, or someone who values my opinion, then please, give this whole thing a rest.

Let's make July a month of love. LOVEMONTH. July is #OYANlovemonth
Where we focus on loving. Simply loving. Healing. No over analyzing how we've earned the right to hate someone based on past disagreements or personal blows.

If we're not love, we are nothing. Correct?

I've had some major life adjustments in the past week. I'm going through a bit of a wringer right now, and it's bringing out my deep side. I hope this doesn't come across condescending. And if it does, out of respect for the message, wait to point it out until August. If it bothers you that much, then feel free to PM me. I'll be happy to have a conversation with you about how inadequately I express what I think God wants me to say.

(And I'm not a super spiritual guru from the top of the mountain. I'm a cranky, whimsical 17 year old girl, banging this out on a laptop at a much-too-early morning hour.)

We're embers. All of us. Go burn something. Be a pyromaniac. Set the world on fire. LIGHT THE SHADOWS UP, UNTIL THERE IS NO CORNER OF SIN FOR SATAN TO HIDE IN.

You better believe he's paying attention to us. We're dangerous. We're bright. We're gifted in all areas, and God IS using us. Don't let this stop our movement.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/7d53070646f66f09a5f9641a5137329c/tumblr_mlo660BFUE1sonquko1_500.gif

God's special matches may grow dimmer, guys. But, they never go out.

I love you.

~Kate Wells